Kathy

A small giggle
a small noise
a small body
a small little girl

little fingers grab mine
a little pull follows close behind
a little foot kicks mine
a little smile follows this time

Little one you have a great place in my heart
Little one you have been loved from the start
Little one you are a beautiful piece of art
Made by our wonderful creator, from our Fathers heart.

Little one, precious treasure
Far to great to measure
May you life be filled with Love
May your heart be filled with peace from above.
May your mind contain the knowledge that you are the precious child of God,
the daughter of the King.

thankfully the long awaited!

Finally my sister is a proud mother and my brother in law a proud daddy and I a proud and happy tante! :)
They have a (what els but) beautyfull girl named Catherine Joy!

How proud will our father in heaven be!

Sweet!!!

I will follow Him and He will lead.

So lately I have been confronted with how much the Lord wants to lead us and how He longs for us to follow Him.
I did a bible discussion on following Him and I used these passages: Matt 4:18 While Jesus was walking along the shore of Lake Galilee, he saw two brothers. One was Simon, also known as Peter, and the other was Andrew. They were fishermen, and they were casting their net into the lake. 19 Jesus said to them,Come with me! I will teach you how to bring in people instead of fish.20 Right then the two brothers dropped their nets and went with him.
21 Jesus walked on until he saw James and John, the sons of Zebedee. They were in a boat with their father, mending their nets. Jesus asked them to come with him too. 22 Right away they left the boat and their father and went with Jesus. Mark 10:17 As Jesus was walking down a road, a man ran up to him. He knelt down, and asked, Good teacher, what can I do to have eternal life?18 Jesus replied, Why do you call me good? Only God is good.
19 You know the commandments. Do not murder. Be faithful in marriage. Do not steal. Do not tell lies about others. Do not cheat. Respect your father and mother.
20 The man answered, Teacher, I have obeyed all these commandments since I was a young man.21 Jesus looked closely at the man. He liked him and said, There's one thing you still need to do. Go sell everything you own. Give the money to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven. Then come with me. Luke 9:23 Then Jesus said to all the people:
If any of you want to be my followers, you must forget about yourself. You must take up your cross each day and follow me. 24 If you want to save your life, and yourself.you will destroy it. But if you give up your life for me, you will save it. John 21:19 Jesus said this to tell how Peter would die and bring honor to God. Then he said to Peter, Follow me! 20 Peter turned and saw Jesus' favorite disciple following them. He was the same one who had sat next to Jesus at the meal and had asked, Lord, who is going to betray you?21 When Peter saw that disciple, he asked Jesus, Lord, what about him? 22 Jesus answered, What is it to you, if I want him to live until I return? You must follow me.
And I just noticed how much of a daily decision it is to follow Him. And that saying I will follow You once is not enough, for you will forget it. And He keeps reminding us to follow Him from the beginning to the end. And the today in training we where talking about how the Lord is willing to lead us and how in the bible you can see that He does chose to lead. And that He will keep doing so, for what good is following with out a good leader.
We have a great God.

quick note

for the people that prefer myspace I also have myspace now.
http:// myspace.com/christinag33

Home town, home land...

I got an invitation to join some web page thingy so you can keep in contact with all your friends all around the world... Very nice, but if you want to join they have to get some info. Though some things I don't mind to much and sometimes I got that choice to fill it in, but the biggest problem for me was I had to fill in where my home town is. I have an answer to that, but the computer said it wasn't possible and I know of a few humans that would say the same... I tried to give the answer heaven. The problem here is I don't know my home town jet I would have to move first to find out. I lived in Holland most of my life, but I'm up to the last seven right now if all goes well which means that it could be somewhere in England where I am planning to go to next, but it could also be that, that would just be for a while or I'm not going there at all... The thing is I just don't know.
What I do know how ever is that it doesn't matter where I live where ever I would go it would never be my home town, for that could only be heaven I am an alien to this world and I notice it the more every day.
I am one of the view I think or at least that I met (though I did not meet myself) That can truly say I do not know home. There might be no place like home I'll believe that, but it doesn't mean that I know it. Home is where the heart is, but most of the time I don't even know where my heart is except near the Lord who lives in heaven. Home is where family is might be indeed, though the places they lived I couldn't call home nor could my parents most of the time... They made me feel more home then anyone ever could on earth, but the places we lived could not stop me from feeling completely lost. I now live in Amsterdam and though I enjoy working here and living here and having all the fellowship I could dream of here on earth here, I still feel completely lost in this world.
People have so many thoughts hopes and dreams, so many goals they go for I can only dream of one day really felling safe somewhere at ease at home. I wish one day I'll find something close enough, but looking at my parents fear strikes and hope fades of finding it on this earth. The more I think about it the more lost I feel, and the more I long to be home at last.

I stand in awe

What is greater then to see the body of Christ at work? Work in setting His kingdom here on earth and here in our hearts.
I am working in the shelter for over 5 months now and I am incredibly grateful to the Lord for sending me here, for the Lord is good. Good and faithful in using us for His kingdom. When I look around and see so many different people from different backgrounds and different everything working together to build up the kingdom of the almighty Lord I stand in awe of how He chooses to use every single one that volunteers to do His work... How amazing His love that He chooses to live in us and give us so many chances... How powerful His works and His love and His blood that sets us free. I can't do anything apart from Him for it is He who gives us life and is living in us which is the only way for us to do anything and especially the things happening here. They are to big for any of our ability's so they can be no others then His.
I see people serving one another I see people talking and explaining things to one another so that the Lords word still lives in us and to reveal what in means. I see people spending so much time here just to have the opportunity to be there for others.
And I see people getting interested and curios and people seeing the truth that God does love them and did send His only Son to this world for them. I see people' views of Christianity change. And seeds planted. I see people growing stronger in faith and stronger in becoming weaker.
And I see the desire to become less so for Him to become more. I see people getting up doing things for the Lord in simple obedience.... I see the love of the Lord working in people. And using people to show that Love to others. And all I can say is I am truly blessed. Blessed by seeing this and blessed in being a part in this. I stand in awe of You.

Lord I stand in awe of You and what You are doing here. Lord I pray this work continues and that You continue to use us. Lord I thank You for bringing me here so that I can really see the body of Christ work and be a part in this. Lord I thank You for showing me Your love and revealing Your self to me and Your will time and time again even though sometimes it is hard to find. Lord I pray reveal Yourself to us more and more and not just to us but to all who hunger and thirst for You. Lord I pray fill me up and more that I can overflow to others even the more. I pray that You will become more and I become less that You can really do Your work in me. Lord You are amazing and You are faithful and You are good and worthy so worthy to be praised. And I want to praise and worship You for as long as I shall live. Thank You Lord again for all You have done for me and thank You again for Your Son who choose to follow You and be obedient and die for me. Because You love me. Thank You Lord for raising Him up from death that death no longer has a hold of me either nor sin. And I pray that You will take away all sin not just forgive them though I pray that too, but to take them out of my life forever so they no longer have a part in me. Lord thank You for Your word that says we are forgiven and that we are loved by You and that You are there with us for as long as we shall live. Thank You for the promises You made. And the word You gave so we can understand and study and get to know You more. Lord thank You.
Amen

quick update

After my last blog I had a good talk and a good prayer time, so I'm a lot calmer now.
And besides that I had a great day today at least so far...
I read Colossians, Ruth and Esther today and a great talk with Krista (our staffhouse mom)
And I also wrote a letter to a guest that used to stay at our hostel and I got a lot out of writing it so I hope and pray he will to.

But for now I just wanted to share a little bit of what I read today out of Colossians 3 about being practical.

verse 23&24 says: What ever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

verse 17 says: And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

AMEN

wanting to go....

Have you ever?

Have you ever felt like jumping out of the window?
Just to see if it hurts...
Did you ever stand on a rooftop?
Almost jumping just hoping the wind will carry you away...
Did you ever stand on a beach willing to start swimming and never stop?
Just to see how far you could go...
Have you ever spend a day dreaming away?
Just to let the world fade...

I really feel like going away these days. I'm just really tired and bored.
I don't know why I love being here, but sometimes I just don't know why I'm here any more.
I feel like I'm standing in the middle of the room screaming my longs out and nobody even notices I'm there... I feel like I'm lost in between to worlds again like always torn apart between my heart and my head. And not only that but between so many things and I just don't want to explain any more. I don't want to have to work at being noticed or have to ask things so people will talk or scream so some one else can talk or even for myself just to be noticed.
Would any one notice if I would just be swept away of this world? Maybe the managers because there is nobody there to work... But if I just wouldn't go back to the staff house would any one notice? Would any one notice that I'm not back at my parents place after a year has gone by? What if after 2? Would they wonder and finally decide to send me an e-mail wondering where I am?

Some times I really wish I could just go if I could just fly away to a place where no one knows me and just find out, but unfortunately I don't have the money or the ability to do that...

I know things will be better I'm just really tired and quite annoyed as well things have just been going badly today. And I just needed to get it off my heart.

Thankful

How You saved me again
How You blessed me again
How You've show me You provide again
How I thank You again.

O Lord how wonderful You are
How amazing Your love for me
Lord I could sit on my knees all day and thank You for all You have done
And still it would not cover half of it.

O Lord Your mercy and grace never end
You are my rock and life, my light and salvation
Who will I turn to if not You?

The Lord has been good to me again. I have seen Him do wonderful things in my life. And especially here at the shelter and in the staff house. He uses me more each day again when I talk to cleaners and when I talk to guests I can connect to people again And I couldn't for a while any more I don't know why I couldn't and why I can, but thank the Lord that He is faithful and that He chooses to use me. A song by the newsboys says; "I could never ever thank You enough, but here's my life for what ever it's worth. " I really see that as something I cry out every day. For every day I thank Him again for giving me another day here, for surrounding me with friends, for giving me opportunities to share with people, for making me hungry for more of Him and for saving me by giving up His life so I can live for Him. And I am thankful, but what can I give Him in return for everything I can give is not enough for what He deserves, so I give Him my all, my life for what ever it's worth.

This thought I wrote down when I just had a phone call from my sister. She said that if I still don't know what I want to do after my time here I could live with her so I don't have to return to Veenendaal (my parents place) and that I have a place to start of in since I really want to go out of Holland. And the Lord He knows that He really does and I prayed for it to, because I didn't know where to start or how you go about moving to another country finding a job and a place to stay. And the Lord provided and even more, as He always does He gives more then enough.

insted of ending with a normal prayer I want to end with a song of Chris Tomlin.

You are my supply. My breath of Life. Still more awesome then I know. Your the coming King. You are everything. Still more awesome then I know.

All of You is more then enough for all of me. For every thirst and every need. You satisfy me with Your love. And ally I have in You is more then enough.

Your my sacrifice. Of greatest price. Still more awesome then I know. Your my reward. Worth living for. Still more awesome then I know.

More then all I want more then all I need. You are more then enough for me. More then all I know more then all I can see. You are more then enough....

All of You is more then enough for all of me. For every thirst and every need. You satisfy me with Your love. And all I have in You is more then enough.